Fear.

We all have fears.

But are they healthy fears? Fear is one of those things that can weigh you down, it can paralyze you without you even noticing it. Fear can start so small, but can grow to be such a big problem. Being scared of something can so quickly take over your mind until you actually begin to play out situations in your mind to how your fear is going to play out. You actually start to believe that your fear might possibly happen; then once you let your mind get to that point, your fear can begin to paralyze you.

We're doing a series right now in church on fear and faith. It's funny how God uses other people to speak to you, to show you where you fall short and where you need to improve in your relationship with Him.

I've been dealing with fear for probably my whole life. I'm a worrier by nature. When I was younger I was terrified by public speaking. If I was made to do it, I would worry so much before hand to the point of making myself physically sick. Then there's the standard fears, spiders, heights etc. but as I grew older those fears turned to things such as rejection, fear of losing the ones I love, fear of never finding someone who would love me and choose to marry me, fear that if I did find that person as history had played out they too would leave me. And the biggest one of all fear of death.

I know right now this all may sound a little "woe is me" but I promise, there's hope and ill get to that :)

I hadn't begun to realize how paralyzing the things I feared had become in my life until this winter. I hate winter driving. The snow, the ice, the amount of car accidents that happen. It's just scary stuff! This winter there was even some fatal car accidents of people I knew. Michael and I were heading going to head to BC for Christmas, and we were going to drive. For weeks before we left I found myself terrified of driving through the mountains. I would catch myself praying for safety, and constantly checking the weather to see what it was going to be like. It even got to the point where I was actual willing to give up my right to ever get in a car again. I was scared of what I thought would happen. I was paralyzed in a way.

Then God began to show me something so simple, yet so complex: he's in control!

Wow.

I had become so scared of death, so scared of losing the ones I loved that I started to believe and play out situations of how that would actually happen. I was acting as though I knew the future. My view of who God was so small. The fact of the matter is, that's he is God. He is good, in every situation! I have to believe that he cares for me and that he loves me. I have to believe that when life is good. And when life is hard.

In the bible God is constantly reminding us to not fear! Even in situations where it clearly looked like there was no earthly hope, he would remind his people to not fear for he knew what he was doing. And even despite turmoil and despair and suffering it always brought about something good.

When I started to realize that despite the circumstances of life despite the outcome of some things, God is good, it changed everything. Life is a gift, a beautiful gift! I serve a God who is trustworthy! He holds the future in His hands. I think of Job, a man who was stricken my sickness and suffering that eventually it brought him to question who God was and the right that he had to bring pain to Job's life. You see him standing before God cursing him for what he has done, and he goes on and on and on while God is just there listening. Then all of a sudden God replies: who are you to question me like that? Did you make the stars, did you breathe life into man? (Obviously this is very loose paraphrase so you should probably go read it for yourself) Then Job all of a sudden gets the right view of God! He is in control, and we have no right to question what the creator of this universe is doing! He is good, in all situations!

I can say this because I have hope. I know where I am going when my time on this earth comes to and end. I am going to heaven to live forever with my Heavenly Father! That is why I have no reason to fear death, to fear the unknown. I have faith in the one who has created this world, who has given me life, and who has saved me from my sin! Who's death has brought me salvation, and who's life has brought me hope of a future spent with Him.

I have no reason to fear. You have no reason to fear.

Have faith.