"I AM"

God really spoke to my heart today. I love it when he does that. I know he does it a lot more than I give him credit for, but I'm not always listening. It was through this video by Louis Giglio (above).

My hearts been feeling heavy for a while now, particularly in the area of friendships and the desire to be wanted and loved by others. I spent 3 years at Bible School, and met some of my best friends there- but we all live so far away. We still stay connected, but it's not the same not having them all close by. I hesitate writing this because I really don't want people thinking i'm wanting sympathy. In fact, please don't feel sorry for me. God spoke to my heart today in such a huge way. I mean it's something I know, but my heart doesn't always believe it. For a few months now I've been really desiring good, Godly, female friendships. People that I can really open up to and share my heart with, have fun with etc. My husband is my best friend. He does satisfy a lot of these longings, but he's not a girlfriend. He doesn't understand some things the way other girls do. I love him with my whole heart, and am so blessed. But sometimes, a girl just needs her friends too. We've been feeling it a little bit as a couple too. Being in ministry can be hard and it can be lonely. You feel sometimes that your the only ones doing the "outpouring" and aren't being poured back into. I know God hears my heart cries, we know he hears our cries- but before he answers that prayer I first need to find my satisfaction for this area in my life in him first (and as a couple). That's why this video spoke to my heart so loudly. I AM- HE IS, the only best friend I should ever need, the one who loves me more than I'll ever know, the one who longs for relationship with me, the one pursues me and calls me to him self. Ideally, everything I've been aching for. WOW. 

He is everything I need and more. I know he has created human relationships for a reason, its a picture of his desire and plan for relationship with us. And although desiring those kind of human relationships isn't a bad thing, if I'm not finding my desire in HIM first, those earthly relationships wont mean anything. 

"I'm pouring into others. Who's pouring into me?"   "I AM!!"

In any situation- He is ENOUGH. He is more than Enough. No matter what life throws at you- HE IS. 

He Is:

- The bread of life: He satisfies- John 6:35

-The light: we don't have to walk in darkness- John 8:12

-The Gate: He is the only way to Heaven, he is Salvation- John 10:9

-The Good Shepherd: He sacrifices his life for YOU- John 10:11

-The Resurrection and the Life: The promise of Eternal life- John 14:6

-The Way, Truth and the Life:THE ONLY WAY- John 15:1

-True Vine: John 15:1

I've been longing for friends that love, and desire me, friends that pursue me. I've had that in front of me all along. Thank-you Jesus.

I hope this encourages your heart as much as it does mine. 

xx R