Nostalgia

As I sat there on the corner of my
bed holding my almost nine-month-old boy, I was flooded with memories. His little arms were wrapped around my neck; I could feel his congested breathing against my chest. Asleep with his head on my shoulders I was suddenly aware of how big he was. I remembered a time such as this, it was in the early morning and the sun had yet to rise. I rocked him to sleep; he fit perfectly in my arms. That moment seemed like yesterday, and in the blink of an eye here I was holding the same little boy who had all of a sudden grown up.

His crying from the playpen had interrupted my purging of his closest. I was close to tears as I held a pair of tiny newborn pants and a hat. So small, I was shocked that my little boy used to fit into these garments. His shrieking called me to his aid, a little boy not quite ready to wake up, but so stuffed up from his cold that sleep was hard to come by. So, we sat on my bed and I held him. It’s a moment that is now forever etched into my memory. I’ve never felt so wanted and cherished in my entire life then I have in that very moment. I looked down at his little face and marveled at how much it had changed. I then realized how much this little face had also changed me. Basking in the peace of that moment I realized how quickly all the hard stuff of our day melted away. The crying, the refusal to let me change his diaper, the constant echo of the word "no" as he reached for the lamp yet again. All the things that get me discouraged as mother didn't matter anymore. This moment right here made it all worth it. 

Little boys grow up, but I’ve saved a place in my heart for these moments so I’ll never forget how much you needed me and how little you really were. 

( photo credit: Michele Harder)