Fellowship

This weekend was wonderful!
It was the annual Millar Missions Conference, so Michael and I made the trek out to Saskatchewan for the weekend! Man, I missed that place!

Not only were we there to learn about the need of world missions, to worship as a believers together in unity, but also fellowship with our brothers and sisters in Christ! This weekend I was just so blessed by the amazing friendships thy Christ has placed in my life. After not seeing each other for 5 months, we can still get together and share our hearts with one another just like we had never left!

I thank God for friends, for people who you can laugh with, cry with, suffer with and pray alongside. I am blessed by those who are close to me! I love the people that God has placed in my life, and continue to look forward to the times where we will see each other once again!

Fear.

We all have fears.

But are they healthy fears? Fear is one of those things that can weigh you down, it can paralyze you without you even noticing it. Fear can start so small, but can grow to be such a big problem. Being scared of something can so quickly take over your mind until you actually begin to play out situations in your mind to how your fear is going to play out. You actually start to believe that your fear might possibly happen; then once you let your mind get to that point, your fear can begin to paralyze you.

We're doing a series right now in church on fear and faith. It's funny how God uses other people to speak to you, to show you where you fall short and where you need to improve in your relationship with Him.

I've been dealing with fear for probably my whole life. I'm a worrier by nature. When I was younger I was terrified by public speaking. If I was made to do it, I would worry so much before hand to the point of making myself physically sick. Then there's the standard fears, spiders, heights etc. but as I grew older those fears turned to things such as rejection, fear of losing the ones I love, fear of never finding someone who would love me and choose to marry me, fear that if I did find that person as history had played out they too would leave me. And the biggest one of all fear of death.

I know right now this all may sound a little "woe is me" but I promise, there's hope and ill get to that :)

I hadn't begun to realize how paralyzing the things I feared had become in my life until this winter. I hate winter driving. The snow, the ice, the amount of car accidents that happen. It's just scary stuff! This winter there was even some fatal car accidents of people I knew. Michael and I were heading going to head to BC for Christmas, and we were going to drive. For weeks before we left I found myself terrified of driving through the mountains. I would catch myself praying for safety, and constantly checking the weather to see what it was going to be like. It even got to the point where I was actual willing to give up my right to ever get in a car again. I was scared of what I thought would happen. I was paralyzed in a way.

Then God began to show me something so simple, yet so complex: he's in control!

Wow.

I had become so scared of death, so scared of losing the ones I loved that I started to believe and play out situations of how that would actually happen. I was acting as though I knew the future. My view of who God was so small. The fact of the matter is, that's he is God. He is good, in every situation! I have to believe that he cares for me and that he loves me. I have to believe that when life is good. And when life is hard.

In the bible God is constantly reminding us to not fear! Even in situations where it clearly looked like there was no earthly hope, he would remind his people to not fear for he knew what he was doing. And even despite turmoil and despair and suffering it always brought about something good.

When I started to realize that despite the circumstances of life despite the outcome of some things, God is good, it changed everything. Life is a gift, a beautiful gift! I serve a God who is trustworthy! He holds the future in His hands. I think of Job, a man who was stricken my sickness and suffering that eventually it brought him to question who God was and the right that he had to bring pain to Job's life. You see him standing before God cursing him for what he has done, and he goes on and on and on while God is just there listening. Then all of a sudden God replies: who are you to question me like that? Did you make the stars, did you breathe life into man? (Obviously this is very loose paraphrase so you should probably go read it for yourself) Then Job all of a sudden gets the right view of God! He is in control, and we have no right to question what the creator of this universe is doing! He is good, in all situations!

I can say this because I have hope. I know where I am going when my time on this earth comes to and end. I am going to heaven to live forever with my Heavenly Father! That is why I have no reason to fear death, to fear the unknown. I have faith in the one who has created this world, who has given me life, and who has saved me from my sin! Who's death has brought me salvation, and who's life has brought me hope of a future spent with Him.

I have no reason to fear. You have no reason to fear.

Have faith.

Beauty.

I just had to post this picture!
I was standing at the kitchen sink when I looked out the window and saw this beautiful sun set! I grabbed my camera and ran out the door afraid I would miss it.
I'm just amazed at the beauty God chooses to share with us.

He took my breath away this evening.

I'm about to ramble..

It's Monday.

It's the first Monday since I've got married where I've actually had to get up and go to work! It's been so long! But man it felt good. Today was my first day "on the job" and I enjoyed it thouroughly!

It's so exciting to hear about all the stuff that goes on at the camp. It's a refreshing experience! Growing up as a missionary kid, and being involved in camp my whole life, it's nice to know that there are other people who have hearts for the same thing! I think i'm going to like this new adventure very much!

Sunday was a good day.

 I enjoyed church so much. I love being able to go to a church and come away from it feeling spiritually fed. Im happy to say that since I started attending Bagot I have yet to come away feeling "unfed" and it's not just the yuppy kind of feeding (if that makes sense) It's the stuff that really gets you thinking, really convicts you.

This past week I was convicted to spend my time more wisely, and not only that but to make sure that what I was doing was for the Lord. Pastor Michael put the question out there that if we are not needing God on a regular basis, to the point where what we are doing cannot be accomplished without God's help, then it really isn't worth doing. Then of course my mind tends to go on little rabitt trails, and I was convicted to use our home and our time to reach out to others. First of all, we have been blessed with such a wonderful home, that happens to have 2 extra bedrooms!
 Ever since Michael and I started dating, we have always wanted to be the hospitable type. And when we do entertain, we love it! But for some reason getting into the groove, and really putting the effort in to invite people over kind of falls off the back of the wagon so to speak. So our goal as a couple for this upcoming year is to use the blessings God has given us, in this case our home. And to not let laziness take the lead!

It's funny though how quickly satan can attack you  right after you have stated your desire to serve God better. I shared my thoughts and my heart with Michael as we drove into Portage to meet family for lunch. Within an hour I was tired, grumpy and didn't want to do anything! I just wanted to go home and sleep. That's what Sundays are for right? But I have a wonderful husband who pushes me to do the right thing. Even if I get angry with him when we does! We spent the afternoon in Portage with wonderful friends, enjoying each others company, going to 7-eleven to get slurpees even though it was freezing outside, and watching a movie! What a better way to enjoy a Sunday afternoon!

 I realized yesterday that stress and nervousness gets to me. I was nervous about starting my new job today, but I didn't realize how it was effecting my attitude. But my husband did, and even though it hurst sometimes when he points out my faults, it's almost always for my benefit and I realize that later on. Im blessed with a wonderful spouse! He reminded me yesterday that we balance each other out perfectly. It's so true. He is everything that I'm not, its pretty wonderful. I need to remind myself of that more often!

I feel blessed today. God is good. And at this point I feel like i've rambled forever and can only hope that what I wrote made any sense! oh well :)

Home

I love this new place we call home.

It's very different from anything I'm used too, coming from a city in BC. But everyday this place never fails to take my breath away. Who said there aren't any hills in Manitoba?! Our cozy little home sits at the top of a valley (kind of) surrounded by trees and a breathtaking view of the prairies! It's home, and I love it!

We have only lived here for 5 days, but everyone of those days has been a reminder of how faithful God has been! We live in a beautiful home, it's warm and very spacious! Both Michael and I have jobs now, even though I technically haven't started mine yet!

I'm just so overwhelmed by how God has orchestrated our lives in the past 3 and a half months! His providence and care for His children's lives is just so humbling!

I'm so excited to continue to make this place home, to start my new job, and to continue to see where God brings Michael with his job.

We can look ahead at the future with such a strong hope, even though I don't know what the future will bring, I know who holds it!

A New Chapter

So this is Blogging.
It's very new to me, and so far has been nothing but challenging! But, I desire to power through this world of technology and figure it out!

My Husband urged me earlier on today to take on a new project, and my friends here you have it: a blog written by me! How exciting!

The title of this here Blog came with much thought, and although I do enjoy writing, it isn't exactly my best quality. The main subject: Hope. Hope that can come from no one else but my Savior Jesus Christ. I've been learning about Hope for what seems to be years now, and I still have not passed the test. In fact, I keep failing. So, here I will write my thoughts on life, my journey through unveiling daily, the Hope I find, and am promised in Christ. Here I will write how that Hope shapes who I am as a wife, a daughter, a sister and a friend. How that hope transforms and enables me to embark on this new chapter of my life at Valley View Bible Camp. And of course, how I fail daily to trust in the Hope that is anchored so strongly in the only person who can give REAL hope.

So, here I go. Wish me luck :)