I've been wanting to write this post for a while now, but between chasing a busy toddler around and napping when he does, I haven't found much time to sit down at the computer! This pregnancy is just flying by!
It's been an interesting process between excitement, fear, worry and more excitement. After what happened last time we decided that we wouldn't plan anything this time, but just let God take care of the timing. When we found out we were pregnant I was ecstatic, but also very full of worry. Every pain, or weird feeling left me defeated and terrified. I really felt that if it was to end the same way the last pregnancy did, I wouldn't survive. Loss is hard, and I didn't want to walk that path again.
With every child, during pregnancy, I start a journal for them. I write down how i've been feeling, the growth and development they've been seeing each week, prayers for them and whats going on in the world at that moment. One morning I was writing to this new baby that had taken up residence inside me and as I poured out my heart and my fears to this little one (and to God) it suddenly dawned on me: We lost Bergen Baby number two on the very first day of June, and this baby is expected to arrive within the first few weeks of June. A month that I always thought would now be a difficult one to see, all of a sudden became a month of hope. A month that we awaited with eager expectation and joy. From brokenness and loss, all of sudden their was beauty. I cried as I felt God was very clearly saying to me: "I care about you Rebekah. I cared about that little one you lost. And I care about the new life that's growing inside of you."
God took something difficult and ugly, and made it radiant. From death he brought life. Just like he did for me and you when he died on the Cross and took our punishment. He took us from the death we lived in Sin and made us beautiful and alive in Him. This baby has been such a picture of Salvation, grace and mercy to me. He makes beautiful things.
It's still a difficult road sometimes, and somedays I still really struggle with the fear of the unknown and the possibility that we might not get to raise this child either. But God has been so good, and has proven to me time and time again (not that he had too) just how trustworthy He is.
Life is hard. We all walk difficult paths. But, God uses those difficult things in our lives to make something beautiful. Be encouraged today, know that what's going on in your life is for a purpose, and that in the end it will be beautiful.
It's been an interesting process between excitement, fear, worry and more excitement. After what happened last time we decided that we wouldn't plan anything this time, but just let God take care of the timing. When we found out we were pregnant I was ecstatic, but also very full of worry. Every pain, or weird feeling left me defeated and terrified. I really felt that if it was to end the same way the last pregnancy did, I wouldn't survive. Loss is hard, and I didn't want to walk that path again.
With every child, during pregnancy, I start a journal for them. I write down how i've been feeling, the growth and development they've been seeing each week, prayers for them and whats going on in the world at that moment. One morning I was writing to this new baby that had taken up residence inside me and as I poured out my heart and my fears to this little one (and to God) it suddenly dawned on me: We lost Bergen Baby number two on the very first day of June, and this baby is expected to arrive within the first few weeks of June. A month that I always thought would now be a difficult one to see, all of a sudden became a month of hope. A month that we awaited with eager expectation and joy. From brokenness and loss, all of sudden their was beauty. I cried as I felt God was very clearly saying to me: "I care about you Rebekah. I cared about that little one you lost. And I care about the new life that's growing inside of you."
God took something difficult and ugly, and made it radiant. From death he brought life. Just like he did for me and you when he died on the Cross and took our punishment. He took us from the death we lived in Sin and made us beautiful and alive in Him. This baby has been such a picture of Salvation, grace and mercy to me. He makes beautiful things.
It's still a difficult road sometimes, and somedays I still really struggle with the fear of the unknown and the possibility that we might not get to raise this child either. But God has been so good, and has proven to me time and time again (not that he had too) just how trustworthy He is.
Life is hard. We all walk difficult paths. But, God uses those difficult things in our lives to make something beautiful. Be encouraged today, know that what's going on in your life is for a purpose, and that in the end it will be beautiful.
Ecclesiastes 3:11a "He has made everything beautiful in it's time.."
Right now were 17 weeks along! At 13 weeks we had our first Doctors appointment and got to hear this little ones heart beat! It was the most beautiful sound! I wasn't expecting to hear anything, with Canaan they couldn't find it this early. It was such a welcome surprise! Today, we had our second appointment and once again got to hear this little ones heart beat, nice and strong at 152 beats a minute! We're hoping my for our first ultrasound within the next few weeks, and maybe, just maybe we will find out the gender this time ;) So far, everything seems to be going well. If you think about us, pray for this baby and that everything would continue to go well.
We're excited to meet this little one, right on time for a busy summer! ;)
