For a few months now I've really been wrestling through the purpose of this blog and why I choose to post the things that I do. At the beginning I desired this to be a place where I shared what I was learning, what was going on in our lives and hopefully some encouragement for those who choose to read. I felt as though this blog wasn't living up to it's purpose, and in a sense I got a little distracted. So, I have taken a little break from writing and was trying to figure out if this is something I should continue, and if it has a purpose. I really feel like I want this space to be a place where I share about my journey as a Mother, a Wife and as a Christian. A place where others can be encouraged and hopefully somewhere where people feel they can share their thoughts as well. I really do love writing, and I love seeing how this blog has connected me to so many people that I don't get to see on a regular basis.
With that being said, i've realized just how hard it is to maintain a hobby while a) being a full time mom to a toddler and b) being in the second trimester of pregnancy. Hello pregnancy brain and a tired momma! Confession: that first paragraph took me two days to write! And as I sit here all I can here is a tired little boy talking to himself as he fights his afternoon nap. Oh, nap, that's something I should do too. Anyways, all distractions aside, I really feel urged to continue on with this blog and would really appreciate feedback on the things I post! I would love to learn from other Moms, Wives and Believers too! As much as social media can be distracting and negative, i've learned that it can also be a very encouraging and uplifting tool if it's used in the right way!
God has really been teaching and convicting me lately on the topic of prayer. Specifically the role that prayer plays in my calling to be a Mother. It's been an interesting journey as we make our way through different trials, lessons and sleep deprivation. I've come to realize it's necessity in my life, often a life line itself to my day. As I'm sure most of you know, this whole being a parent thing and growing up…is hard. There's seasons of change and growth and along with that comes lessons that we often have to learn the hard way. We've entered toddler hood, which means discipline, whininess, teething, the growth of personality, stubbornness, and a whole lot of good things too. But as I entered this new season i've realized that I really can't do this on my own. In my own flesh, i'm a bad mom. I'm a selfish mom. I lack wisdom, patience, and direction. I need help. Daily, I need to be poured into by the Holy Spirit to help me be the mother that God has called me to be. I need Christ's patience, love and wisdom to become mine. I need direction when i'm at my whits end with a toddler who won't listen. I love my job, but in and of myself I just can't do it.
Prayer has become a vital part of my parenting. Praying for my child, for our family and for me. What God has been teaching me the most lately though, is just how important praying for your children is. I've always prayed for Canaan, but they've always been very simple, repetitive, not specific type of prayers. A part from praying for my son's salvation, which I believe to be of utmost importance, I realized that God cares about the little things too. He cares about the discipline struggles, the problem we've been having with early morning wake up calls, the teething pain, etc. He desires me to come before Him for every little thing, to ask for wisdom, direction and in a lot of cases for answers and solutions. If I can't pray about the little things now, the little things that will one day shape who my son becomes, how will I pray when big situations show their face? If I can't learn to petition on behalf of my son now, I don't think I ever will.
I've been reading a book called Set-a-part Motherhood by Leslie Ludy. I use that term reading lightly, I think i'm on chapter 6 and i've almost had the book for a year. Anyways, there is a chapter on this very specific topic: becoming a praying mom. She puts it very bluntly that prayer shouldn't be an after thought; it should be the very bedrock of our parenting. And I couldn't agree more.
"As mom's we are so eager for practical solutions to the every day challenges we face with our children that we can forget about our biggest, most powerful parenting weapon: prayer. Prayer shouldn't be an afterthought; it should be the bedrock of our child rearing. Anything practical we do should be an outflow of our faithful, diligent prayers for each detail of our children's lives." - Set a Part Motherhood
Obviously the act of prayer in our relationship with God is not just necessary as a parent, but in everyday life no matter what stage your at. I've heard it said that our prayer life needs to be like breathing. Something we do effortlessly and naturally. It's an outpouring part of our relationship with Christ. It's constant communication with our Saviour. So, how is your prayer life? Is it something you value and set time aside for? Is it like breathing, where you just naturally find yourself in conversation with God throughout your day? Are there areas where you need to grow?
I see it as a tremendous privilege to be able to storm the gates of Heaven on behalf of my children. To wrestle in prayer for their well being, their salvation and their character. It's not something i've mastered yet, and I doubt I ever will, but I won't let that stop me. I challenge you Mothers, pray for your kids. No REALLY pray for your kids.
"Our goal in parenting is not ultimately for our kids to get a great education or to be great athletes or to find a great husband or get a great career. Our goal is for them to love a great God."- David Platt
