One Month Old!

My little boy is one month old today! I find myself being very nostalgic, it is going by just way to fast! Everyday that goes by he changes and looks older and older!

Canaan:

You are such a precious little gift! And this month has been one of the hardest/best months of my life. There has been lots of learning and growing, and you've been so gracious to your daddy and me :)

Your such a strong little boy, almost from day one pulling your neck up! Today we gave you some tummy time and you lifted your head many times to look around! You also kick like crazy and sometimes try to lift yourself up when feeding with your legs!

You don't give away smiles very often, but every once in a while you let one slip out. It's pretty much the cutest.

When your hungry, YOUR HUNGRY. You could be sleeping one second than screaming the next because you want your food..NOW. Your a little porker :)

You love your car seat, and your soother. With both, you can sleep for hours and hours!

You usually only wake up once a night to eat. Sometimes two, but that doesn't happen very often! Mommy and Daddy can't complain!

You've started to really be able to see, you follow mommy and daddy around when we are close. You also know our voice and perk up whenever you hear us talk.

You still fit in to a lot of your newborn clothes, but your definitely

 growing! We don't know much you weigh or how long you are at the moment, but we know your getting bigger! 

You like it when Mommy sings to you, she doesn't do it very often but when she does you pay attention so intently! You also love music in general, whenever its on you usually calm right down, or fall asleep :)

You are SO loved! 

Thankful Thursday

We have so much to be thankful for. And asI was thinking about that I thought why not on a weekly basis take some time and really think about what I'm thankful for. So here is thankful Thursday. Let's hope this becomes a tradition, we will see :) 

1. That my little baby boy is alive and healthy. That he is eating well and sleeping well (most of the time)

2. That I have a helpful husband. He may not be able to hear the baby cry at night, but if I wake him to help me he does, and usually with enthusiasm! Which I think is because he is still half asleep but none the less it's appreciated!

3. For soothers. I know there are probably a lot of moms out there who cringe at the thought of using a soother- but my baby loves his soother! And it helps him calm down. Plus, once he is calm he spits it out, an added bonus.

4. The fall weather. I love it! The leaves are changing and it takes my breath away! Fall is my favourite. Hello scarf and sweater weather! 

5. Coffee. I didn't drink much of it when I was pregnant, but man am I enjoying it now! Plus, it doesn't seem to be effecting the little one which is awesome! Please stay that way :)

6. A full fridge and freezer. We have so much, and regretfully I very often feel like we deserve more. But we have everything we need, and so much more. 

7. My family. Our family. We are surrounded by so many who love and support us. It has been especially evident these past few weeks. Our family has helped us out so much and I have been so blessed by them! 

8. The body of believers. Whether near or far I'm always amazed how God uses his people to pray for and encourage one another. I have been encouraged lately by other believing moms, there struggles and accomplishments with being new moms and there willingness to pray for me. We need one another and I'm so thankful for how we can support each other! 

9. Two years of marriage. Compared to my parents recent 25th anniversary 2 years doesn't seem like much, but hey 25 years has to start somewhere! I'm thankful for my husband, he is such a God given gift! 

10. For Jesus. His forgiveness and his willingness to love a sinner like me. I'm so undeserving. I'm thankful that because of his death and resurrection I can now approach the throne of grace with confidence! I couldn't make it through my days without talking to him and laying my burdens at his feet. What a wonderful Saviour. 

Real Love

September 15th was our two year anniversary. Two years ago I walked down the aisle towards my best friend, and that afternoon we promised our lives to one another  in front of our friends, family and ultimately God. It was on that day that we made a covenant to stay together until death parts us, no matter what life throws our way. As I spent the majority of our anniversary at home looking after our Son I had a lot of time to think of what a day like this really means. I spent a lot of time thinking about those vows that we took that day, and how important it really is to remind myself regularly of what I promised to my husband on that day. Those things that I vowed are very serious promises, and although on our wedding day they were very easy to make, they aren't always the easiest promises to keep. For Christmas last year Michael got me our vows printed off and framed, they sit on our dresser in our bedroom and so many times since then they have been such a humbling reminder to me of those promises I made. Unfortunately, we live in a world where those promises that so many people make to their spouses on their wedding day really don't mean anything, and so many marriages end in divorce. Not only in secular homes, but divorce is also so prevalent in the church today. We vowed to one another that divorce isn't even an option, and that no matter how difficult life gets we will fight for one another and choose to love each other on a daily basis. A promise we can't live out without God being the center of our relationship, without his grace and mercy and his strength equipping us daily.

I also spent some time thinking about this worlds views love. How I used to view love. Love is a fairy tale, right? It's falling in love, butterflies in your tummy, romantic dates, flowers and love notes. Wrong. Don't get me wrong, these things do happen in marriage, sometimes. But love, real love is SO much more than that, and so much more satisfying than those other things. Real love is full of mercy and grace. It's forgiveness and sacrifices. It's choosing to love the person your married to every day, despite there down falls and mistakes. It's supporting them in their God given role, and in the gifts that he has given them. That...is real love, because truthfully marriage consists of two very sinful people. Two sinful people who need God's help daily to love each other the way that he desires them too. Real love is a mirror of the way that our Heavenly Father loves his children. On our wedding day Michael and I chose 1 John 4:19 to be the theme of our day: "We love because He first loved us." We can't love each other the way we're supposed to, the way we both desire to be loved with out Christ first giving us that love. We are only able to love each other the way that we do because we are loved perfectly first from the only person who is the perfect example of real love. A person who gave up his own life so that we might live. A person so full of grace and mercy, and a forgiveness that we don't deserve. A person who came to this world not be served but to serve others. A person who is the perfect example of what marriage and real love is supposed to be like. I know that I will never love my husband perfectly the way that Christ loves me, but through Christ I sure can try!

No marriage isn't easy, but that's what the promise is for.

10 on 11: baby edition

A while ago I started participating in the 10 on 10 photo challenge, and for quite a few months I've been forgetting! But I remembered this month and tried to take as many pictures as I could! This month is baby month, I don't do much lately but look after my little guy! But I'm not complaining :) enjoy!

1. Tiny little baby hands

2. Mommy and Canaan. I love his little nose!

3. Soother baby. He sucks on everything and anything! 

4. Milk coma 

5. Out for dinner with the two beautiful ladies! Nana and great nana

6. Three generations

7. It was baby shower night! We were so blessed!

8. Daddy and Canaan checking out all the gifts!

9. Grandma and Canaan getting some last minute cuddles 

10. Getting fed by nana. He sure loves his nana 

A birth story continued

That first night after Canaan was born is quite a blur. I remember being exhausted,  having both sets of parents and siblings there to greet the little guy, a few feedings and a few diaper changes. The morning seemed to come really quickly and I was already anticipating all the visitors that would stop by and being able to announce to the public about his birth. 

We didn't name him till the next morning. Canaan had been a name that I had loved ever since I was in highschool, but Michael wasn't so convinced about it yet.  It seemed like such a strange name all of a sudden and we weren't quite sure if we would regret it in the years to come. But after reading a little bit more about the meaning of the name and reflecting on what Canaan meant in the Bible we decided we loved it. His middle names are after the both of our dad's, two amazing men who raised both of us to be the people we are today. I think it was by 10am on the 28th that we finally settled on his name. 

We had quite a few visitors in the hospital that afternoon and evening, it was so wonderful to know that there are people who care about you and are just excited as you are about the new addition. Canaan already has some

Pretty great not related aunts and uncles! 

That second night was deffinitly a lot tougher. Our wee man was having some

Tummy issues and was very gassy. I also don't think he was getting enough milk from me at this point either- but I really had no clue if that was the case or not. I was kind of shocked at how much the nurses leave you alone after you've given birth. I understand why they do, but I just wasn't expecting it. We both didn't get much sleep that second night, and we're really looking forward to going home hopefully that afternoon. 

Canaan got his heel poke done that morning and checked over by the nurses again to make sure he was doing okay. He passed all his tests and we got the go ahead to go home by the doctors. Our nurse insisted though that before we leave the lactation consultant would come in and make sure we were doing okay feeding wise. Which sounded like a good idea, and I was fairly confident everything would be okay. 

She came and watched us during a feeding and wasn't loving what she was seeing. I didn't realize that he wasn't latching properly and therefore not really getting anything. She gave us some

Tips and came back for the next feeding. The second one went so much better than the first, until she left. He seemed like he was done feeding so she left, but he continued to want more which lead to nearly a 2 hour feeding! I knew at this point he just wasn't getting it. 

They didn't wants us to go home because it was a long weekend and we wouldn't be able to see the public health nurse till Tuesday. But it was ultimately up to us because the doctors had given us the okay. We stayed for one more feeding which was a nightmare! He screamed the whole time and didn't latch once. I cried, he cried, all I wanted to do was go home and for his little tummy to be full! I felt very defeated and guilty because I had spent money on a nursing cover and a breast feeding pillow and had convinced myself I would never use them. And

If I couldn't breast feed than we would have to buy formula, and that to is expensive! But Michael was so good at encouraging me and letting me know that it really was okay. He also doesn't let me give up easily though, which I appreciate so much, I admit I can be quite the quitter some days! 

At 7:30 we decided Michael would go buy a pump and some formula just in case and that we would head home that evening. I was exhausted and was getting so tired of being in the hospital. I just wanted our own surroundings, and I knew I would be so much more comfortable at home. So the nurse got our discharge papers ready and gave us a bottle formula so we knew for sure that he was getting what he needed that first night at home. 

Leaving the hospital felt so good. Don't get me wrong, we had awesome nurses the whole time and felt very blessed by our time there! But home just looked so good at that point. It was such a neat experience putting him in his car seat for the first time and getting into our car and heading home, not just a couple anymore but as a little family of three. 

Being home has had it's ups and downs with night time feedings, but it's getting better. Michael was exhausted after a summer of camp then heading straight to a hospital where he once again got

No sleep. I think he has caught up a little bit now, thanks to having my parents around and taking the wee man so we can get some extra rest. But I think he's still tired, which I'm sure will take some

Time to get over. 

This whole thing has really made me fall in love with my husband more. Not only watching him be a daddy, but just seeing him take his role seriously as spiritual

Leader and having the support that he gives. Those first few days I was very emotional, I could cry on demand just thinking about how blessed I was to have the husband that I do. God has been so good. I realize even if we hasn't blessed with this little man and if things would

Of went a lot worse, God still would have been good. But I'm thankful today for how things have been going and for what he has entrusted to me so far. 

Canaan Brian Andrew

It is with great joy that Michael and I announce the birth of our precious little gift from God: Our Son, Canaan Brian Andrew Bergen! We are absolutely thrilled and so very much in love!

I really wanted to take the time to write down his birth story. Since finding out we were pregnant I started a journal for him, but I figured when he finally gets around to reading it he probably doesn't want to know all the gory details of his birth! ha! So I thought I'd go a little more in depth on here, hoping it will refresh my memory.

Canaan was due to be born on August 24th, and if he wasn't I had a doctor appointment in Brandon on the 26th just to make sure everything was still okay and to possibly discuss a induction if it was necessary. On the 25th I started having some contractions, but they were few and far between so I didn't really think anything of them. At 2am on the 26 I started to really feel them consistently for about 3 hours. They were really hard to time though, so once again I tried to shake them off and not take them to seriously. At 9:30 am the same morning they started happening again, and were a little easier to time. Michael had gone to work for the morning and wasn't planning on coming with my parents and I to Brandon, but right before we left I really felt that he needed to come with us as well as all of our hospital essentials. The contractions continued on the way to the dr, but weren't getting any worse. We waited about an hour on our dr, and as soon as he came into the office he looked at me and said "you look very uncomfortable" I agreed and replied: " I think i'm having some contractions". Without hesitating he told us to go straight to the hospital and tell them that he would be on his way to check how things were progressing.

We went to the hospital and got dressed in the proper attire and hooked up to the monitors that monitored the babies heart beat and my contractions. I was in fact having contractions, but they were irregular  Our dr came and checked me, and at that point I was only dilated 1.5 cm.  He told me to stick around Brandon for the afternoon, go for lots of walks and come back at 5pm before heading home for the evening if I was still feeling the same way, if not we were to come back in the morning to make sure baby was okay. So we headed to the mall and super store and I tried to walk as much as I could,. The contractions weren't getting any worse, and I was starting to feel a little bit better. We decided that we should just go home and come back in the morning, but right before we left I went to the bathroom and realized I had started having some bloody show. I talked it over with my mom and she suggested we go and get checked again, just to be on the safe side. We made our way back to the hospital where our dr was on call. I was hooked up to the monitors again and my contractions seemed to be a lot stronger. Dr came and checked again and I had gone from 1.5 cm to 2.5 cm- which didn't seem like such a big jump but just a few weeks earlier I had been diagnosed with group B strep which meant that I had to be on penicillin during labor at least 8 hours before giving birth. Our doctor asked if we wanted him to break my waters or if we just wanted to be admitted and let the contractions come naturally. Since we weren't expecting to be admitted we really didn't know what to say, but I got scared all of a sudden and didn't want him to break my water. So we told him we just wanted to be admitted and see how the evening goes- to which he replied "lets break your waters". He tried twice and it didn't work, which meant baby wasn't quite ready yet! But by 6pm we got admitted and I was started on penicillin. My contractions still weren't very regular so they put me on oxytocin to try and make the contractions a lot more regular. Around 11pm I started having very frequent, very painful contractions. I started using the gas and air to ease the pain a little bit. It doesn't take the pain away, but definitely takes the edge off. At one point I had left the mask on a little to long and all of a sudden burst into a laugh attack. It was the most surreal thing because I felt like I was watching myself laughing hysterically and all I could think was "nothing is funny, why are you laughing!" but I couldn't stop! It provided some entertainment for Michael and I for sure!

I got check again around 2:30 am (I think) and still hadn't made much progress, so they decided to take me off oxytocin for the night, let me have a bath and give me something to help me sleep. By 4am I was fast asleep and didn't wake till 8:30 the next morning! I woke up feeling fantastic, and had absolutely no contractions. After breakfast I got out of bed and tried to walk around thinking it might spur them on again, but it didn't. The nurse had mentioned asking the doctor if we could get a day pass and just hang out in Brandon for the day to see if things would progress naturally. He came and checked on me again and I still hadn't changed, but in the process he broke my waters. So at 11 am I wasn't leaving the hospital anymore! I was put back on the penicillin and oxytocin and started having consistent contractions. This whole times my contractions were really hard to trace so I had to have something put on my uterus to track them properly which thankfully worked! I continued on the gas and air but the contractions were getting stronger and stronger. I eventually decided on an epidural and thankfully it didn't take to long get it. But with an epidural comes a catheter, which for some reason made me feel so uncomfortable the whole time! We got checked again at 7:30 pm just before shift change, and I had dilated to a 5.5 which was progress but not exactly what they were hoping for. The idea of a c-section was tossed around if my 9:15 pm no progress had been made. Not to long after shift change I started to feel lots of pressure, and I just felt like the epidural wasn't working. I could still feel all the contractions so they raised the medication pretty much as high as it could go. I was frozen all the way up to my chest! At 9pm the pressure and pain got so strong I practically begged the nurse to check me early. Good thing she did because I was now fully dialated! At 9:15pm I started pushing and by 10:21 our precious little boy was born!

The last 2 hours of labor happened so quickly, and I think took everyone by surprise. I had totally convinced myself that a c-section was the only way this little guy was going to be born! It worked out perfectly that my mom  came in to check on me just as I was getting checked so she was able to stay in the labor room with Michael and I. It was such a blessing to have both of them by my side. Michael did so well, he usually doesn't do very well in hospitals- but he exceeded my expectations! He stood by my side the entire time, I really couldn't of done it without him! As soon as our wee man entered the world Michael yelled "It's a boy!" and just hearing the excitement in his voice made my heart so happy. We now had our first son, and couldn't be more thrilled!

Canaan Brian Andrew was born on August 17th and 10:21pm. He weighed 8 pounds 14 oz and was 21 3/4" long.

There's a lot more to share, but I will save that for another post- I seem to have written a novel :) We are loving having this little bundle of joy in our lives, and couldn't be more blessed!