Thoughts on becoming a Mommy.

Today, I am 23 weeks and 4 days. Time is flying to say the least, but at the same time August just can't seem to come soon enough. I still forget some days that there is a little one growing inside of me, and then there are some days where this little one wont let me forget it! His/her little kicks bring me so much joy and peace! I find it so hard to not let my worries get the best of me. I'm a worrier by nature ( and I in no way am saying that it's okay.) and it's so difficult not to focus on the "what if's" of pregnancy. Every little move (or lack there of) and pain sends my mind racing! I was very convicted the other day of how quickly I run to the internet or to someone else with my inquiries of these new developed pains instead of first heading to my heavenly father and laying my worries at his feet. I so often forget that I can lay all my troubles at his feet, and the overwhelming peace that comes when I act in obedience to this.

As we get closer and closer to becoming parents I realize more and more the importance of relying on my Savior. If I can't do that now how am I going to do that when there is a little one screaming for my attention, or running around begging for my love? How can I love this little one the way God intends if I'm not allowing the ultimate love giver to pour into my life?

I'm also realizing now that I have the tendency to make this little one my entire life once they make their entrance into this world. Don't get me wrong, I know that children are a blessing from God- but that's just it, they are a gift and are not intended to become my entire life. God and my Husband, who were here first, need just as much, if not more of my every day attention. I recognize that maintaining a relationship with God can be hard for a new mom, and I fully expect it to be- but that doesn't mean we stop trying. It's only when I am weak that HE is strong, and I have hunch that I am going to be very week in these next few months! It's also my desire that our kids see what a proper, Godly marriage looks like. Reality is that as they grow up that reality is only going to diminish as they go to school and are surrounded by friends from broken homes. Divorce is so prevalent these days, and I so strongly desire for our children to come from a home where the parents daily build into their relationship, and try really hard to always make it work. Therefore, my relationship with husband needs to be high on the importance list. I want our kids to know that their mom and dad love each other, and I want them to see it to! That means setting aside time for just us, not including the kids. I know that probably sounds so simple, but you'd be surprised how many couples don't do anything together with out there kids! I just don't think that's healthy. On that note though, I so desire us to be a family unit. A family that does life and ministry together. I have a feeling it's going to be a learning process, but man I'm so excited to start learning!